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Good books, old friends

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By Kara Kvasnicka

Tuesday, November 29, -0001

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When, for instance, we take my niece and nephew to a full-service restaurant, she will not allow them to occupy the interminable amount of time it takes for the food to arrive by appropriating everyone else's silverware to construct daring, post-modern sculptures.

Mind you, while she refuses to let them crawl under the table or run around engaging other diners in a rousing game of tag, she does not expect them to sit perfectly still.

Like most moms, wherever she goes with her kids, so does a backpack so heavy you would think it contained the contents of an entire department store.

The second either child exhibits the telltale signs of restlessness, she pulls out a coloring book and crayons. As soon as they lose their appeal, she is ready with another item from her bottomless bag of tricks.

Ultimately, and only if all else fails, she does what every self-respecting mother does to prevent the family name from being forever tarnished by her offspring's unpredictable public antics.

She threatens them with loss of privileges.

No matter how often Lauren and Ryan provoke her to this point, their eyes always widen in disbelief that she should deem so dire a warning necessary.

They appease her by trying to settle down. But inevitably curiosity gets the best of them, and they start testing the waters all over again.

Keeping in mind the boundaries my sister has drawn so her children might grow up model citizens, I am not sure she will approve of the birthday present I am giving Lauren this month.

As Lauren turns six it is only logical she be introduced to the most famous six-year-old in all of children's literature — Eloise! Right?

Unfortunately, Eloise, the brilliantly naughty product of author Kay Thompson and illustrator Hilary Knight's imaginations, also has a reputation for being one of the most notorious brats to grace (or disgrace depending upon your perspective) the pages of a picture book.

Along with an irresistible matching Madam Alexander doll, I plan to start Lauren off with Eloise: A Book for Precocious Grown Ups (1955), the eyebrow-raising debut of the "rawther" sarcastic and invariably mischievous poor-little-rich-girl who lives on the top floor of New York City's Plaza Hotel.

If Lauren enjoys this delightfully fizzy concoction, if her mother does not find its heroine too irreverent, I will eventually treat her to Eloise in Paris (1957), Eloise at Christmastime (1958) and Eloise in Moscow (1959).

There are plenty of other companion products I can choose from to accompany the additional books. Admittedly, they are deceptive in their sanitized portrayal of Eloise.

The stories alone reveal the merry prankster's gleefully wicked spirit. Upon reading them, Lauren will undoubtedly separate her Eloise doll from the rest of her collection. Following her mother's example, Lauren will not want her own "children" to be led astray.

Yet, in Thompson's searing satire of wealthy New Yorkers in the fifties, in her championship of an unlikely little girl who both represents and rebels against the narrow confines of her social class, Lauren will have the pleasure of meeting her own "alter Eloise."

She will understand it is only natural she should have impulses to do things grown-ups dismiss as silly and annoying. After all, she is only six.

I hope I do not know anyone who is not a member of what writer Marie Brenner terms in Simon and Schuster's The Absolutely Essential Eloise (1999) the "Inner Eloise Club."

We would not be human if we did not envy her freedom to do and say exactly what she pleases. She irritates her elders to her heart's content, and miraculously, they let her.

Plaza employees and guests might direct a contemptuous glare in her direction as she runs down the hall scraping the wall with two sticks, uses the house phones to place make-believe calls or pretends to lose her skate key in a crowded elevator.

But none of them ever says, "Stop Eloise! Or else!"

True, Eloise stands no chance at all of turning out normal and well adjusted. She will eventually pay a price for having a nanny who spoils and pampers her in place of parents who take an active interest in her conduct.

She is luckier than she knows that she can stay the same age forever.

As Brenner suggests, stories of her adolescence would undoubtedly take on a dark, Catcher In The Rye quality as private tutors give way to boarding school.

Still, all things considered, she does not do such a bad job of raising herself. She is consistent and conscientious in her care of her turtle Skipperdee and her dog Weenie. Some of her descriptions of nanny are unflattering, but we believe her when she proclaims "Ooooooooo I just love nanny I absolutely do!"

Eloise is the essence of irrepressible, undirected energy. As she tries to ward off boredom without guidance from anyone older and wiser, she warrants the label of ever-scheming troublemaker. But she is hardly the devil's disciple.

She can be downright mean, sneeringly repeating everything her tutor says, denouncing her mother's lawyer as "absolutely so dumb" he actually eats the rubber candy she offers him. But such behavior is more indicative of her stage of development than a capacity for innate evil.

That said, I hope Lauren will not respond to Eloise by imitating everything she does. Heaven forbid she should "sklonk" her hairdresser on the kneecap or end every sentence with "and charge it please!"

Lauren deserves the chance to indulge in Thompson's fantasy only as long as she knows where fantasy begins and ends.

Whatever you might think of the results, the literary merits of Thompson and Knight's collaborations are undeniable.

Certainly the only reason a mature woman like me would continue to read these books is because I cannot get enough of Thompson's joyous, jazz-inflected narrative style.

You can hear the vocals Brenner said Thompson arranged for MGM musicals in her syncopated rhymes and alliteration. Especially satisfying is her series of words beginning with "sk" — "skidder," "skibble," "sklonk," "Skipperdee."

Knight's hilarious caricatures in black, white and pink are a perfect match for Thompson's eccentric wit. They deftly capture both the elegance of the Plaza and the continuous chaos in which Eloise cheerfully embroils it.

Much as we would like to stop and admire all Knight's expert minor details, he insists we keep Eloise's dizzying pace.

We never tire of seeing Eloise in the trademark ensemble Knight invented for her (white blouse, black pleated skirt, pink hair ribbon) because she is always in motion. Her facial expressions are not always pleasant, but they are infinite in their variety.

The idea for Eloise originated with Thompson, but Knight is just as responsible for rendering her unforgettable.

The first time you see Eloise in the first illustration on the first page of her first book, you know you are not dealing with your average kindergartner.

"I am Eloise I am six!" she exults. Hand on hip, tummy protruding, eyebrow arched defiantly, mouth forming the bare outlines of what will become an all-too-familiar smirk, she dares you to disagree.

Kara Kvasnicka, a former East Village Magazine news editor, has been the magazine's contributing editor and research consultant since 1989. She is the librarian at the Genesee District Library's Goodrich Branch.

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